My Mom’s 5 Best Tips for a Successful Marriage

Today, February 24th would have been my mom’s 88th birthday if she had lived that long. Of course, if she had lived that long, she’d be pretty upset that I said how old she was. My mother always seemed young. She lived life with optimism and curiosity and genuine delight. She would credit that joy to being married to a man she loved as if she were still his new bride…my Dad, Ray Finlayson. So on her birthday, I’d like to share a blog I wrote this week for Sheknows.com which features her tips for a long and happy relationship. Happy birthday, Mom. And Happily Ever After…

Read the article here: http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/948141/moms-lessons-for-a-happy-marriage

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Mary Lou’s Blog for Huffington Post: What Mom taught me about Valentine’s Day

Want to know what Mom taught me about Valentine’s Day? Check out @HuffingtonPost http://huff.to/yn5h8n #LoveNotes#HappyValentine‘sDay

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The Importance of Being Kate


As the year ends, we’re inundated with “Best of” or “of the Year” lists: “Best Movies of the Year,” “Song of the Year,” “2011’s Best Restaurants,” and so on.  E! is tweeting about whether its’ “Celeb of the Year” is Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart; Grantland declared this Ryan Gosling’s break-out year, and Jezebel’s Woman of the Year shortlist includes Gabby Giffords, Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton.  While all of these are deserving in their own right and realm, have no doubt.

This was the Year of Kate.

The ring.  The hair.  The wedding.  The bridesmaid.  The North American tour.  Everything about her year was fantastic (from the my point of view, at least), and while one could argue that her tangible effect on the world was minimal, her effect on retail was not.  UK-based retailer Reiss was one of the most obvious benefactors of the “Kate Middleton Effect”, posting a near doubling in profits after she wore one of the brand’s dresses in her engagement photo.  The mad scramble to purchase the dress she wore during an official visit by the Obamas crashed the company’s website.  If you google “Kate Middleton Sapphire Ring” replica, you get 893,000 hits, with pricetags ranging from $6 to $10,000.  My mother, a reasonable 50-something woman who’s not that into jewelry, got one.  Even I, who have lived in London and have respect for, but no delusions about, Britain’s monarchy, instructed my hairdresser prior to a wedding this year that I wanted “Kate Middleton hair.”

So if Kate Middleton is appeals to women, how are retailers marketing to women on the back of this phenomenon?  Reiss, for one, is merely standing aside and letting Kate do the work.  An article on Kate’s “Midas touch” in Britain’s Daily Mail commented:

“Notoriously guarded about its clientele, Reiss declines to discuss Catherine’s endorsement, simply saying that the Duchess has long been a loyal customer at Reiss and always looks stunning.

Privately though, staff admit to being ‘delighted,’ a sentiment that is no doubt echoed from the shop floor right up to the boardroom.”

Kate Middleton is appealing to many women because she is the antidote to all the Kims and Lindsays of the world; she’s elegant, not showy, refined instead of gaudy.  Make no mistake, though, this presentation is on purpose.  She is marketing herself, albeit in a much more subtle way than, say, Gaga.  Reiss made the wise choice of doing the same; sometimes the most intelligent marketing to women doesn’t look like marketing at all.

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Christmas Crazy

Every year, I go Christmas crazy. I don’t mean baking cookies or making lists. I mean whole hog decorating. I scout Bed, Bath and Beyond for LED willow branches and Pier One for their rhinestone throw pillows that no one will want to lean on. I buy stuff that will only be used for three more weeks before it’s hauled back to storage. Yes, Christmas crazy.

I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember. My Mom, Mary Finlayson, was never interested in decorating for the holidays other than saying, “Look at our sad sack house. We should at least put up a few candles.” That was enough to send me to the basement to dig up last year’s stuff and then head out to buy more of anything that twinkled. As long as I was willing to trim it, hang it, fluff it up, I could accessorize to my heart’s content. After hours of bedazzling, I’d stand outside on the sidewalk gazing proudly at our little Philadelphia rowhouse– my handmade version of Whoville.

Growing up, our family was never allowed to have a real pine tree because Mom said she was allergic. So each year, I would assemble our aluminum tree, which was really a silver-painted broomstick with holes where we stuck the silver pom pom branches, added our assortment of mismatched ornaments and ho-ho-ho! Instant tree. We put our gifts under that same anemic tree for at least 15 years until my senior year in college.  That year, inspired by my 70s back-to-nature spirit and a cute boyfriend, I went on a tree-cutting date and brought a beautiful balsam to my parents’ house, declaring the beginning of the Finlayson fresh tree tradition.

We decorated it with every old ornament from our well worn boxes. I may even have strung popcorn in a fit of ye good ole days. The fragrance was Christmas itself. And Mom smiled. “Hey, Mom, why aren’t you sneezing? I thought you were allergic.” “No, never was,” Mom smiled. “I just didn’t want to clean up all those pine needles.”

Mom’s gone now. I think about her every time I place an ornament on my overdone tree. Yep, still crazy after all these years.

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For American Latinos Twitter is Facebook’s alter ego

Hear what our friends at Greencard Creative have to say about Twitter in the Latino community:

“When it comes to social networking there is clear difference between Facebook and Twitter for American Latinos. Some may argue Facebook has been out there longer, but how can you explain the recent jump to 22 million of American Latinos Facebook users in the last year? Others will say it’s about access, well, they are both free, online and mobile. Different than other groups Facebook reflects the American Latinos’ hybrid identity, not just Latino or American, or somewhere in between, or trying to be either.  As we discovered, that is why almost 9 out of 10 of the new American Latinos do not have Twitter*.

NetworkFacebook is about “talking” “sharing life,” it is not just about simplifying and integrating both their real lives with their virtual ones seamlessly, but actually becoming an extension of themselves from the moment they wake up, at home, while commuting, at work, with friends, at parties. It is a two-way conversation where they can engage, chose who to engage with at all times. It is social facetime value as opposed to a popularity contest.

As for Twitter, they see it more as a one-way street, “it’s all about yourself,” not as engaging or deep, “it’s just status, not stories,” and it feels more superficial. The idea of “following” someone is not as empowering. They also said Twitter feels a bit colder and more “American,” and Facebook is more like them, combining emotions and technology.

What this means to brands reaching this target audience its key: it’s all about creating relevant engaging content either through social media, mobile app, or on the web, that allows them to be themselves, and collaborate among their already-established network with platforms that drive participation with engaging emotions.

Check out some inspiring ideas and innovative content-driven platforms by AOL’s digital prophet David Shing at AWNY’s Advertising Career Conference.  Great examples on how to engage with American Latinos, the leading mobile audience.”

Help to end the stereotypes in the Unites States by voting to end the “Hispanic” term  at Hispanicsaredead.com.

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Has the marketing campaign for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo film failed in marketing to women?

Of all the films about to grace our local movie studios in the pre-Oscar holiday push, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo may be the most anticipated.  Adapted from the mega-hit novel, the dark and twisted story stars the dark and twisted Lisbeth Salander, who aids journalist Mikael Blomkvist in his search for the truth about a young woman’s disappearance.  I’ve read it, you probably have to, and if so, you know that truth is pretty … well, dark and twisted.


As of this summer, the book had sold 15 million copies altogether in the US, and polling conducted by Nielsen’s Media National Research Group indicates that 83% of women over 25 and 79% of women under 25 are aware of the film.  However, only 36% of either group of women expressed “definite interest” in seeing it.

The problem, hypothesizes New York Magazine’s Vulture blog, isn’t the material, as evidenced by the book’s huge following.  Nor is it the visual aspect of its adaptation to film, as the horror and slasher film genres are popular with women.  Rather it seems Sony has either miscalculated or set aside their efforts in marketing to women.  To quote the article: “The consensus of marketing solons is that Sony’s dark, $125 million gamble will still open — the estimate it’s likely to pull in between $40 and 50 million over six days — but that its director’s singular vision means it could have done a lot better.”

Or, as another expert said, “I think women see these trailers and are being scared shitless away from it.”

What do you think?  Are the trailers for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo reaching a female audience?  Are you “scared shitless” away from seeing the film advertised as “The Feel Bad Movie of Christmas” in its own teaser?

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Harvey Nichols “Walk of Shame”

Upscale UK retailer Harvey Nichols recently launched a stir-causing ad on their YouTube channel, titled “The Walk of Shame,” which we enjoyed and wanted to share.

In the spot, a series of women stumble along in ill-fitting dresses “the morning after the night before” to a delicate piano rendition of “Morning Has Broken.”  They teeter up and down subway stairs, partake in medicinal breakfast sandwiches, and pause mid-stride trying to avoid being ill on a sidewalk.  Although it’s UK-based, it is relatable to any woman who’s ever enjoyed too much holiday cheer (which is most of us) and falls squarely in the “funny-because-it’s-true” category.  The screen fades to black, and the viewer is urged to “Avoid the Walk of Shame this Season” before we cut to a lovely young woman, also heading home in the early morning light, but this time wearing a flattering, high-necked dress that moves with her instead of riding simultaneously down and up.  Finally, we are asked to “Share your #walkofshame.”

The ad has inspired a bit of controversy (which I’m sure HN expected and welcomes).  Some viewers complain larger and more realistic women were chosen for its first half, whereas the actress at the end is a thin, beautiful model.  I found the focus throughout to instead be on the dresses; although the final actress was undeniably pretty, the others were certainly attractive as well … just badly dressed.  The spot is more about beautiful, tailored clothes than body image.

Said Harvey Nichols group press and marketing director Julia Bowe (rather cheekily, as the Brits say), “We know that a fabulous outfit can cover a multitude of sins.”

HN’s message is clear: don’t just dig an old, cheap or ill-fitting cocktail dress out of the back of your closet; come to Harvey Nichols for a new frock and feel confident, beautiful, and well-covered on your “Walk of Shame” … thus making the walk not very “shameful” at all.

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Tracy tells NYWICI how to reach the female audience

Marketers (and men) find themselves constantly asking “what do women want?”  A question that is impossible to give a simple answer to, as women as a whole never all want the same thing. “All mom’s are not the same, all women are not the same,” Tracy said. This makes advertising to women today difficult and challenging.

On December 6th, last Tuesday, Tracy Chapman was a panelist for New York Women in Communications, Inc (NYWICI)  event, “What Women Want: Strategies for Reaching the Female Market.” The panel of marketing experts was moderated by Lesley Jane Seymour, the Editor-In-Chief of More Magazine, who aimed to uncover what the best approach in understanding the thoughts, motives and triggers of a targeted female audience.

Tracy explained that as a marketer or advertiser it is easy to get caught up in the half-truths that women tell, but it in order to succeed in reaching the target female audience the whole-truth must be uncovered. “Women have and project the best intentions;” however, often times what women say and do are very different. If the whole truth behind these intentions are uncovered, it is much easier to reach the intended female audience.

Tracy provided the attendees with insightful information that helped to make the event a great success!

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Advertising to women: Weight loss and Race. Why you can’t reach all heavy women the same way

A new study out from the University of Alabama at Birmingham finds that black women are less psychologically affected by being overweight than white women.

The report, which looked at physical function, self-esteem, sexual life, public distress and work, hypothesizes that social norms and body image contribute to larger black women being happier with themselves than their white counterparts.  While all women experienced a fall in quality of life as their BMI rose, black women had “particularly higher” self-esteem.

Author of the report Dr. Tiffany L. Cox said, “The implications of this relationship between weight and quality of life in black women remain unclear. While the highest quality of life is desirable as an indicator of overall well-being, black women’s perception of experiencing a high quality of life despite having a high BMI may also dampen motivation for attempting weight loss. Additional research is needed to understand the potentially bidirectional relationship between weight and quality of life in black women.”

Commenting on the study, women’s website Jezebel celebrated black women’s resistance to being shamed into losing weight; although their response may be considered confrontational, their appeal for proactive, psychologically healthy approaches to marketing to women is spot on.  As they put it, “how about every pro-health push focus on the physical benefits of health rather than the emotional punishment of non-health?”

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Studies show that sexting is on the decline among the young

Young people have and will always make mistakes as they grow up; a particular challenge of the current generation is the ease with which they can record and send these mistakes to their friends.

However, a new study out today from the University of New Hampshire shows that one of the more frightening examples of this phenomenon may be less prevalent than we’ve dreaded.

“Sexting,” it turns out, is far from “normal” for 10- to 17-year olds, with only two and one-half percent appearing in or creating nude or nearly nude (but not sexually explicit) images.  Only 1% of the 1560 respondents said they’d participated in images that showed naked breasts, genitals or buttocks.

This is in contrast to past studies that found 1 in 5 young people was “involved in sexting,” a discrepancy the current research seems to blame on “ambiguous screening questions.”

Having just spent the Thanksgiving holidays with young cousins, babysitters and neighbors in this age bracket, it’s a relief to know there’s not likely to be photos of bare butts in their text messages.  Teens have always been masters of self-preservation, and while we may fear “self-preservation” means assuring one’s social status via sexual favors, perhaps in most instances they understand that’s not the case.

One thing is certain though, this 1% is one you don’t want your child to be part of, and the best way to keep them from it is through discussion.  This study can give them ammunition, in case they find themselves trying to be convinced otherwise.

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December 25, 2024
by Mary Lou Quinlan

A look at an early production of WORK

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The God Box Goes Global!

“The God Box” has grown to include an app, audio book, philanthropic venture and solo show performed by Mary Lou across the US. Now The God Box Project goes global to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
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