2 Ways to Make Me Feel Like I’m a Bad Mother in 1 Week

by Jen Drexler
Published January 12, 2011 in Moms & Family

The New York Times ran what I’m sure was meant to be an innocous article this weekend in their NY/NJ Metropolitan section about an Upper East Side professional organizer. Basically for $450 for about 3 hours she will come to your fancy apartment on Park Ave and throw out all of your crap for you and then label what is left with a P-touch. This woman, Barbara Reich, is to thank for sentimental gems like “Everybody’s going to learn how to read and write” … “You don’t need the evidence.” as she tosses out your child’s first scribbles of the alphabet.

I don’t ideologically disagree with Reich and I will admit that the article motivated me to gather up 3 big bags of toys to donate. But I do think this article was another way to criticize moms for hanging onto toys, projects and sentimental sports equipment. Reich uses a tough love approach that must have worked well for her in her former life as a MBA management consultant. Her abrasive shtick gets her clients though and I’m sure her phone was ringing off the hook by Monday morning. The part that really bothered me in this profile though was that she makes NO attempt to recycle or donate the castaway toys. Instead she complains that “Our society is wasteful” as she fills up another garbage bag. I am far from green, to say the least, but I don’t think throwing away perfectly good toys and sporting goods sets a very good example for our kids or teaches them anything about value or charity.

The NYT article was nothing compared to the maelstrom caused by The Wall Street Journal’s article “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” this past weekend. This article (really an excerpt from Amy Chua’s book that came out this week) was intentionally controversial (remember, book came out this week). The premise was that Chinese mothers raise more successful children because they don’t follow Western warm and fuzzy child rearing philosophies. While I read the article I will admit to beating myself up over my own lackluster discipline skills. I let my children have playdates and I imagine when they are in school I will “accept” an A- instead of an A+ on occassion. Chua’s superiority as a mother has caused a real blogosphere ruckus and has made me question my parenting just a little bit since reading it. (I will admit that the excerpt was a brilliant publicity move to market the book to women. It’s #6 today on Amazon).

Tags: Amy Chua, The New York Times, Wall Street Journal

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Earliest Impressions of the OWN network

by Jen Drexler
Published January 3, 2011 in New Ideas

Thanks to the East Coast snowstorm and our vacation from the office I was able to spend some time cleaning out my DVR. Yes, my life can be that exciting. It was a priority actually because I needed to make room for the new programming on the debut of Oprah’s network OWN. I’ve caught a handful of shows so far and here are my first impressions.

1. Master Class: The debut with Diane Sawyer was wonderful albeit I would watch Diane do laundry because I worship her so much. The storytelling nature (i.e. Diane telling her own story) is appealing versus the narrated versions like A&E Biography – this definitely feels more intimate. Not sure if this will be a must watch for me unless it is about someone I already find compelling.

2. Kidnapped by the Kids This show made me mad. The premise is that parents who spend too much time working get “kidnapped” by their children for a week to reconnect. The debut episode featured a man who traveled a lot for work and his wife and three kids who felt neglected. They got permission from his boss to take him out of the work mode for a week and hijacked him at the airport. It was touching to see young children so articulately express how his absense and the distractions of his BlackBerry and laptop made them feel. I teared up a little when the son said he thought his dad “had another family he liked better somewhere else”.

But a poorly timed toungue lashing by his wife killed the poignant moment. What followed was a montage of things the father got to do with his kids (camping, fishing, grocery shopping, swimming) and it ended with a moment in the family’s yard where he cried and apologized for spending so much time on work. Big hug. End credits with an update that dad has taken a job closer to home. WHAT?! That’s it? The solution here was crying and hugging? What a missed opportunity for the show to take a more practical turn to fix the problem that face so many of us. Let’s start small. Maybe no blackberry at dinner? Maybe a technology free day of the weekend? But the solution can’t be that dad feels guilty about earning a living. Can you tell this is a sore point for me as a working mom? My daughter recently interupted our bedtime story so that she could “take a call” on her pretend phone. Ouch, right? Parents who work don’t love their children any less and unless this show gets constructive it is just another guilt trip.

3. Behind the Scenes: A reality show about the production of Oprah’s last season of shows. Gimme more. Gimme more. This is like candy for me. I live for the behind the scenes look at how the show is put together. Since finding women to interview is part of my daily life I love watching the producers scramble to find the right guests. On the catty side I like seeing the knowing glances among the staff when they think that the big O is being unreasonable or overly demanding.

4. Overall I worry about the TBS and Oxygen effect. Will the lack of new programming make this channel a repository for tired chick flicks? I’ve seen some Tweets in the last few minutes that An Officer and A Gentleman is playing right now. What’s special about that? How is that Oprah-esque?

Being realistic I know that there isn’t enough new material for 24 hours of coverage but monotonous re-runs and old movies will not make for destinationl television. BUT maybe, just maybe the Oprah geniuses already know their audience well enough to know that we will all DVR the shows so it doesn’t matter what’s on in between. That must be it. See I knew they were smart.

I can’t wait to see Gayle’s new show next week and I’m a big fan of Dr. Berman too… but I’ve had enough of Phil, Oz and Orman to last me a lifetime. Tune in and let’s discuss… Stay tuned here because I will post soon about how I believe brands can use this platform to really market with women.

Tags: Diane Sawyer, Oprah, Working Mother

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Are you talkin’ to me??

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published December 15, 2010 in Retail

I was standing in the checkout line at GAP yesterday and in the mix of the hustle and bustle of the shoppers, heard someone crooning something once, then twice, until I finally looked up and realized the cashier was summoning me with the liquid-y new lingo pilfered from Target, “Following guest?” Huh? Believe me, I am as rabid a line stander as anyone and wouldn’t miss the chance to hurry to the register but after so many years of being shouted at with “NEXT CUSTOMER!”, I was tone deaf to this gentle invitation to step forward. It happened again at another mass outlet and I watched the customer in front of me stand silently like a car that doesn’t respond to a green light. So, the cashier re-announced, a little louder, “Following guest, please”. But it’s hard to yell that phrase, so still no action.

We’re not used to being talked to as guests after retailers spending years training us to respond to “NEEEEXXXTTT!”.  But it seems that this holiday season, with every dollar on the line, stores are not only offering discounts, they’re extending courtesy. Wow. What a concept. Hope it sticks if things pick up!

Tags: Customer Service, Holiday Shopping

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Taking Care of Business

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published December 9, 2010 in Leisure

Tuesday’s New York Times featured an article about how hotel rooms are becoming sleepaway offices. Seems business travelers are less interested in the sports bar downstairs and more into big desks, accessible technology and back-supportive office chairs upstairs.  Gone are the days when a business trip meant a good night’s sleep and a mini bar treat. Now, it’s all work, work, work. (Unfortunately, this story dovetailed with the news that the CEO of Pfizer was leaving due to burnout…hmmm. )

On one hand, I was glad to see some of the in-room improvements. Niki Leondakis, President and COO of Kimpton Hotels, which has a track record of intuitively catering to women, said that they’ve upgraded electrical sockets to reachable power strips–welcome news to any woman who’s ever crawled on all fours to plug in a recharger. (And it’s a great solution for those times when you’ve been forced to unplug the lamp to power up your laptop and then can’t see the keyboard?)  Kudos to the Hilton Garden Inns who junked all those local travel brochures clogging the desk surface.  Type A travelers swept them all onto the floor anyway to get down to business. (No cave tubing trips when you’re on a deadline!)

But the innovation that made me kind of sad was the new Marriott Spring Hill Suites redesign that reset the desk into an “alcove” (AKA cubicle) within the room. They even installed a tiny sliding window panel where truant workers can allow a bit of sunlight to shine as long as it didn’t break their concentration. We are a nation of over-worked, over-whelmed, highly productive people who brag we don’t take our entire vacations (or spend them on our iPhones.) I worry that this economy only tightens the noose and squeezes the precious shut eye out of our nights.

It’s great that hotel rooms are becoming more work-friendly. But once the door is shut, I hope that some road warriors just pull up the covers on their heavenly beds and grab a well-deserved nap.

Tags: Hotels, The New York Times

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Is the Iphone for Girls

by Tracy Chapman
Published December 8, 2010 in Tech

Jenna Goudreau at Forbes.com says yes. In fact, her post “Is the Iphone for Girls” points out that new research  from Nielsen finds that women show a greater preference for the iPhone while men show a stronger interest in Motorola’s Droid. 

Now, I’m an Iphone junkie. Before getting it, my cell phone was a paper weight in my bag, but now, it is always charged. For me, it’s all about the apps and the functionality of the phone. I have no idea whether the Droid is as good but quite frankly, I don’t want to think about it because “if it’s not broke…”  I think a lot of women feel that way.  Once we find something we love that works, we stick with. We tend to be more brand loyal unless there is a reason not to be.

But of course it is about getting her first. Looking at the Nielsen data, while 30.9% of women say that their next Smartphone will be an Iphone, 23.8% are still undecided (compared to 14.9% of men who aren’t sure which one they want).  This tells me that there are still people to persuade and marketing and applications will be the key to her heart.

Jenna also asks whether the next debate will be between Kindle and the IPad. The Kindle has done a great job creating ads that are clearly targeted to women.

But are they looking at how women are actually using these products and marketing to her that way?  I know in our house, my Iphone is shared by me and my daughter who is 18 months old – there are just as many apps for her on there as there are for me and she is a wiz at turning it on and sliding her finger across the screen to get it to do what she wants. As a mom, I couldn’t live without it.  Now take the IPad, I know the IPad would act the same way – we would use it for movies and games and entertainment and I’d use it to catch up on favorite magazines and books. Can the Kindle do that? The brand that shows women how it can easily fit into their lifestyle and justify the price, will be the one who wins their wallet share.

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Women Are Responsible For This Year’s Hottest Brands.

by Tracy Chapman
Published November 30, 2010 in Fashion

Adage’s 2010 Hottest Brands list is out and from the brand names on the list, it just goes to show the power of the female consumer.

With moms 32% more likely to use smart phones than the national average, it’s no wonder the Droid is at the top of the list followed by Glee (we’re quite the gleeks over here at Just Ask a Woman) and our personal favorite, Groupon. 

We know the power of the female consumer, which is why we’re not surprised to see Old Spice on the list.  We fell in love with the new campaign targeting the female influencers in men’s lives.

We are also glad to see Dawn dish soap made the list.  Procter & Gamble has done well combining innovation, value messaging  and saving the environment – from recession to oil spills, this brand knows how to make women feel good and clean.

U by Kotex has done a fantastic job getting young women to feel more comfortable in what we like to call, the “pink ghetto” ( That aisle in the supermarket or drugstore that we quickly walk down or avoid altogether.)  We especially loved that the campaign poked fun at typical advertising in this category.  Breaking the cycle can be difficult for many brands. Companies can learn from their brave move.

And while there are quite a number of other brands that made the list that can link their success to women, Reebok’s EasyTone also has Katrin Ley, Head of Brand Strategy, Business Development and Women’s Sport Business, to thank for the growing toning category. They have sold 5 million pairs of EasyTone in the U.S.

And while My Pillow Pets and Silly Bandz have a much younger audience, we know who is laying out the money for these as well.

Tags: Advertising Age, America's Hottest Brands, Dawn, EasyTone, Glee, Kotex, Old Spice, Online Shopping, Procter & Gamble, Smartphone

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Forget Black Friday. It’s Black Monday for Women Shoppers

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published November 24, 2010 in Retail

Last night I had a few free minutes before a dentist’s appointment and I popped into a BCBG store. “Come on in,” trilled Michelle, the manager, “50 percent off leather, bags, sweaters because we’re starting Black Friday now!” I’ve noticed email invites from retailers, store signs, commercials all pre-empting the big day by making it a big week. The Target ads, which feature the return of the funny shopper practicing her Black Friday techniques and stamina seem old this year. By the time she flexes her muscles for Friday a.m. doorbusters, she may find she can just stroll the aisles on her own.Next year’s prediction: Black Friday will be November 1st, once the “second retail Christmas” of Halloween is done!

Tags: Black Friday, Retail

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Quality of Life Assessment – Just What the Patient Ordered

by Tracy Chapman
Published November 17, 2010 in Health

Women tell us that they feel that doctors often have one ear in the exam room and one hand on the door, ready to move on to the next patient – time is short, money is tight and patients are often reluctant to speak out and share more than a “fine”, to a doctor’s “how are you?”

Jane Brody’s article in the New York Times, Not Just Small Talk: Quality-of-Life Questions at Medical Exams, suggests that doctors need to take responsibility for getting patients to share more information.

We know this can be challenging. Let’s face it, many female patients often downplay symptoms because they are reluctant to come across as whiners, hypochondriacs, or worse, not healthy.  In recent work we did with women suffering from chronic pain, many told us that they don’t talk about their symptoms with their doctors because they don’t actually want a diagnosis…huh? 

There is a great Whole Truth here – many say they want to be healthy, but often avoid confrontation because a diagnosis can impact how they see themselves, how others see them, and ultimately their lifestyle.

 That said, patients need doctors to push harder to get them to speak up – not just about symptoms but about how they want to feel if their symptoms were to be managed.  Physicians need to ask more, women need to tell more and healthcare companies can provide ways to help each side speak the same language. Once this happens a more collaborative approach to healthcare can be attained.

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Women are Stressed. Shocking.

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published November 17, 2010 in Health

In the Land of Duh category, The American Psychological Association has just revealed the results of its 2010 “Stress in America” online survey headlined with this shocker: Women are more stressed than men (28% vs 20%) and (drumroll), Gen X-ers, 32 to 45 are the most stressed group of adults. Wonder how much time and money went into discovering this bit of obvious?

If you really put these women on the psychologist’s couch or as we do, the Just Ask a Woman hotseat, you’d learn that while sure, they are stressed, that’s just a Half Truth. The Whole Truth is that she finds a lot of time for the fun and interesting things she likes to do. (Cue the “Dancing with the Stars” music and the Bristol Palin/Jennifer Grey throwdown.) Every day millions and millions of women find time to read and write blogs, to watch DVR’d programming and to dish with their friends online and off. Marketers who think that women are too busy need to realize that “I’m stressed” is a Half Truth. (It’s true because she is still the unthanked keeper of all the tasks of the home, the office, her family, but it’s only half the story). The Whole Truth is that she’s too busy to pay attention or waste time with your brand if you are boring or complicated or just adding to her load of to do’s.

So, American Psychological Association…Doctor up! Get to the heart of what’s bugging her instead of trying to sell her some sessions with you to de-stress. Let her veg out with Top Chef or troll for the latest Groupon deal when she needs a breather. That’s what will give her some relief.

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Trial Offers Turn Me On

by Jen Drexler
Published November 15, 2010 in Retail

First, Amazon offered me free Prime membership because I am a mom. I know there was a lot of turmoil by non-breeders about this program but let’s face it there should be some sort of reward for surviving this whole parenting thing. (In hindsight, Amazon should have made it a Parenting program so as to include dads and even grandparents.) So as long as I spend a certain amount in their baby store my membership will keep getting re-upped. Since I’ve had this privilege my shopping at Amazon versus other retailers (brick or click) has almost tripled. Having the products arrive in 2 days (most of the time) rocks and saves me time and money. I order from the app on my iPhone while I’m on the road and usually the product beats me to my house. Every birthday gift for my twins’ friends has come from Amazon and normally they would have only had a portion of my gift giving budget.

Second, Fresh Direct launched in my NJ town. I nearly flipped my lid celebrating this news because while our grocery stores are okay there is nothing better than the Fresh Direct selection and prices on meat, seafood and prepared foods. When it launched I got a generous coupon off my first two orders which is de rigeour for FD. BUT they also offered me a 2 month trial of their unlimited delivery pass. As long as I spend $30 on each order I get free delivery. The charge for delivery is about $7 regularly and that is enough to make me think twice about making smaller sized orders. I’m one month into the trial and take advantage of it at least once per week.

Now the real question is will I renew these offers when it comes down to opening my wallet? Probably is my answer. If either of these retailers are smart they would be paying very close attention to the shoppers who enrolled in the trial. Now that we are getting hooked it will be hard to go back to paying more. I believe that there might be some extra motivation needed to pay out of pocket for these things (discounted rate on renewal, rewards for turning other people on to the program) but overall I believe this has been money well spent by both brands.

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